


blatant exhibitionism

by bissonomy (Macdicilla)



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Discretion, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Vetinari doesn't say things but Drumknott knows what he means, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:12:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macdicilla/pseuds/bissonomy
Summary: Vetinari doesn't actually need Drumknott to whisper the correct word or phrase in his ear when he "accidentally" misspeaks. Drumknott knows this too.





	blatant exhibitionism

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DictionaryWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/gifts).



> for the kiss prompt: discreetly

It’s not just the years they’ve worked together that have set them up to work in perfect synchrony. Time alone isn’t enough. Drumknott and Lord Vetinari have each made the effort to understand the workings of the other’s mind. Though their synchrony appears natural and effortless, it is deliberate. Practice, however, has certainly made it easier.

Drumknott is nothing if not a solicitous clerk. He anticipates Vetinari’s every thought and hands him the relevant pieces of paper before he even thinks to ask. In this respect, Vetinari has become a bit–not _spoiled,_ never spoiled, except that Drumknott has spoiled him for anyone else–accustomed to having his mind read.

They dovetail each other, Drumknott thinks. Then he reconsiders. The metaphor is not wrong, but the dovetail is a carpentry joint that makes two pieces fit together sturdily, and he is looking for an image of motion. He pictures the perfect dance of mutual pursuit between two eagles when they meet in mid-air, lock talons to fall together, and break their embrace with just enough distance to curve away from the fast-approaching ground. He is aware of the purpose of this ritual. The metaphor is still not wrong.

On the personal side, his bids for attention are very subtle. Lord Vetinari is aware of his status and he doesn’t want to pressure or impose. There are things he doesn’t want to have to express, but it works out because Drumknott knows how to read subtlety.

One of his habits, however…

If you asked Drumknott–well, if you actually asked Drumknott, he’d beg your pardon and peer at you with innocent eyes from under furrowed brows as if he didn’t understand the question. But what he _thinks_ about this habit of Vetinari’s is that it’s _silly_. That he shouldn’t approve. That he shouldn’t indulge him with positive reinforcement every time. It’s blatant exhibitionism, is what it is. He does it during meetings, for Io’s sake:

Vetinari gets Drumknott to whisper in his ear. Vetinari makes “mistakes” so that Drumknott will come closer and whisper in his ear to “correct” him. It’s usually something small and simple, like saying “crumble” for “rumble”. Initially, Drumknott had thought it served the same purpose as a false chink in the armour, to set people at ease by not seeming too perfect. But it isn’t that.  It’s pure mischief. He gets Drumknott to whisper in his ear because he likes it when Drumknott whispers in his ear. He likes Drumknott to show off a little. He likes the intimate contact.

But sometimes, Vetinari does it to annoy him, Drumknott is sure. One time, while speaking to Commander Vimes, he referred to the ship _The Wonderful Fanny,_ as _The Enormous Fanny_. Drumknott had stridden over to him immediately and whispered hotly in his ear,

“You’re not funny.”

Without a change in facial expression, Vetinari had said,

“Ah, thank you. I meant, of course…”

And so on.

Can a couple that knows each other so well still surprise each other?

Yes.

It’s four-thirty PM and the sun is setting. It isn’t Hogswatch today, but it’s Hogswatchtide, and the season is about reversals, is it not? The world on its head, the tables turning. Drumknott has now resolved to reward _good_ behaviour only.

Lord Vetinari is meeting with the chair of the Merchant’s Guilds’ Association[1] at the moment. Drumknott hands him the third and final iteration of the association’s new charter.[2] It is reviewed and found to everyone’s liking.

“It’s good to have this finalized at last, Mrs Capellan,” Lord Vetinari says as he signs the document. “Shall we put down the fifteenth of Ick as the day the charter comes into effect?”

He’s done well, Drumknott thinks. Not a pune or fake mistake all day.

So he walks up to him, cups his hand in front of his ear and kisses him discreetly.

“I’m sorry,” says Vetinari, “could you say that again, Mr Drumknott? I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch it.”

For a split second, Drumknott feels a twinge of guilt. He thinks he’s thrown him off and that this is a ploy to buy time to think of something that would make sense for him to say.

It isn’t. Vetinari has a very faint smile on his face.

So Drumknott kisses Vetinari on the ear behind his hand again.

“The fifteenth of Ick or the closest business day,” Vetinari says aloud.

Afterwards, as Mrs Capellan is leaving the Oblong Office, Vetinari quietly hooks a single finger into the waistband of Drumknott’s trousers, by his hip.

“Your assistance is invaluable to me, you know,” says Vetinari.

Drumknott also allows himself a prim, understated smile.

“I am glad you find it so, my lord.”

Later, perhaps, they will say the things they mean to say. Perhaps they won’t have to. Perhaps they’ll show each other in nonverbal ways. They’ll both understand.

Now, however, they must return to work. The day is not yet done.

 

[1] The current chair is a greengrocer and is traditionally granted a special dispensation to place apostrophes where she like’s.

 

[2]  Drumknott had made a number of significant suggestions on the chairwoman’s first version, some of which he had to make _again_ on the second before the chairwoman caught on.

 

 


End file.
